I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
