When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
