And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
