I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This is my gift to your gina
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
