So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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