well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
