His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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