they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
