Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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