and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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