It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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