i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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