Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
