? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
