i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
