look no pants
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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