Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
nutella sex= disaster
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
