Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
