How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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