the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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