i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
