I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
