we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
