Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
