Your face is a jimmy john
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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