last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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