The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
