she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
