Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
