do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
