I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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