Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
