Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
