I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
