I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
