babies were throwing up all over the place
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
