There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
