That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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