My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
