I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i came on her dog
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
