Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Dignity is for republicans.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
