I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
