you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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