i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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