actually, I'm a sock model
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
