My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i think i just lost a toe
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