I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
