take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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