Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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