i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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