How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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