that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
