ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
