I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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