I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
