On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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