I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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