my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I forgot how hot balto sounded
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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