your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
