Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize