sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
