PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
