I wanna bring you to show and tell
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
