just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
