i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
