Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize