Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
